Don't Pursue Happiness, Create It

I took my son out for a walk through our neighborhood this evening. It was too irresistible to pass up. For those of you not living in the hotter climes of the world, Texas gets hot. Add in the ever present mosquitoes and the 85% humidity and the prospect of an itchy, sticky, sweltering evening outside is usually easy to turn your back on.

But tonight...tonight was as perfect an evening as a July evening in the South can get. 83 degrees (F), 74% humidity, and: a breeze. The sun was just beginning its daily descent, shimmering off the still waters of the small lake that borders our cul-de-sac. As we walked its edge, small ripples appeared here and there as turtles poked their heads out inquisitively. Various birds wheeled just above the water, swooping, diving, skimming the surface, feeding on mosquitoes and gnats. We sat, taking in the scene, the high pitched drone of cicadas a constant soundtrack for our outdoor time. (Okay readers, I have to pause for a moment and admit I haven't the slightest idea about Texas fauna. They might've been crickets or grasshoppers for that matter. I feel cicada has a nice sound to it, so I'm going with that. Either way, whatever type of insect, they have a way of creating a comfortable humming sound, capable of quickly lulling you into a drowsy state of wakeful dreaming.)

Our View

I felt a sudden catch in my chest, a slight constriction of my heart. It...was...beautiful. For a split second, I regretted our eventual move. Was life really that bad here at home? Sure, Steven technically

didn't have a job after September. But he'd land on his feet; he always did, right? And maybe I could turn on my work autopilot and grind away for a few more years. After all, I had my own office--a pretty big one at that.  Hadn't I coveted that for years?  Maybe I could get more creative about spending more time with my son, ensure the time we were spending was meaningful. Our neighbors were phenomenal, our social life was fulfilling, I had a few very special friends, (B, J, H, E, C, I'm talking about you). We were blessed to live close to our wonderful family and I was glad we were able to provide the kind of lifestyle for our son that I could only have dreamed about when I was growing up. We'd be losing all of it in one fell swoop. I felt the lump slowly travel from my chest, up through my throat.

As we walked back, I felt compelled to try to burn the image into my mind, as if I'd never see it again. But I guess the truth is, I never will. No two moments are ever exactly the same. The clouds will never glow quite that way again, backlit by the slowly setting sun. My son will never be this exact age again. The birds will not fly that exact pattern tomorrow evening.

Once inside the house, my eyes caught on the fortune cookies I'd got with my take-out lunch that afternoon. They're a special treat for my two dogs, and the extreme crunch seems to give my dogs extra satisfaction. I'd forgotten all about them. I unwrapped the cellophane, broke the cookies in half and read the fortune: Don't pursue happiness-create it.

That was us. We weren't just hoping we'd done enough to have happiness land at our door, we were going out to get it. I'd always known we'd needed more. Wanted more. I knew it every time I heard the exotic sounds of an Indian Sitar, or a Chinese Pipa. I could feel the vibrations in my very bones the first time I heard live Japanese Taiko drums, felt something shatter in me and reassemble in new configurations when I saw the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Coliseum, the Acropolis, the Vatican, the Turkish Souks, all up close and personal. I remember having my emotions whipped into a near frenzy while watching a Spanish Flamenco performance. I remember wanting to cry I was so moved by the uninhibited dancing, the staccato beat steadily filling your ears, your mind, your soul.

We're setting out to get it, happiness. We've had it all along, so maybe we're greedy for wanting even more. It means sacrificing things, changing things. Like energy, real friendships never disappear,  they just change their form. So it's okay that I'll never see that exact scene again. It's in my mind, a new part of my fiber, like all the collective experiences we'll gather along the way. Then again,  my lucky word on the back of the fortune was "banana", so maybe I'm just reading too much into it all:)

Settling In

So it's been a few days since Steven landed at Abha Airport and made the short 15 min drive or so to the compound that'll be home for a while.  First order of business was heading to the base where the schoolhouse he'll be teaching at is located. After meeting the head of the school he was shown around. He was pleased to see his own office, and to learn that he will in complete charge of the part of the program he will be instructing, down to approving and/or tailoring the curriculum if necessary.  His schedule will normally be 7-3, but during the holiday times (like now for Ramadan) he'll be working 10-3! Sheesh!

As for getting around? The company provides transportation to and from school, and he's been hitching rides with new friends to go into town. The compound (henceforth known as Nassim) also has a regular shuttle schedule providing transportation into town to different locations.

He was assigned bachelor quarters until he completes his probation period and we're cleared to come, at which time he'll receive our house. He's been able to visit a few places in the city, a grocery store and their equivalent to a Bed Bath and Beyond, and Best Buy. First purchase? A wireless router so he'd have WiFi to FaceTime and Skype us. So far, communication has been pretty reliable, although it works best when we're both on WiFi.

He was pleased to see all the items he'd need to make a decent gravy (spaghetti sauce for all you non-Italians) and made sure to send me a picture that would set my mind at ease.

His work has already given him a list of ideal times to take vacation, (or go on holiday as the Brits and the French put it.)  Soooo, we have been discussing where we want to potentially spend Christmas, and are tentatively planning for...Paris! It's always been a dream of mine, and we really want to spend Christmas in a Christian country. Just makes sense right?  Seeing the Christmas lights on the Champs Élysées, taking an evening cruise down the River Seine, touring the Palace of Versailles, tons of wine, wine and more wine, (with a little champagne to top it all off) and yep, you guessed it, Disneyland Paris for the baby, and okay, for me too! I'm such a Disneyphile.)  A little something for everyone! Plus, I'll get to dust off my VERY rusty French which hasn't been used since we visited Nice and Monte Carlo on our honeymoon back in 2009.  

As for me, I'm trying to ensure we'll be ready to go as soon as we're cleared, prioritizing what needs to be done and when for our residence visa application. Also, it's amazing how much stuff one accumulates in adulthood! So much needs to be thrown out or donated.  I'm only bringing three pieces of luggage for myself, so I've gotta make my space count and only bring those pairs of shoes and pieces of clothing and jewelry I love and absolutely can't live without. Right now that includes my black riding boots, my Tiffany's silver, my old movie collection and some pictures. Hmmm, looking at my list this might be easier than I thought:)

And So It's Farewell...

After seven long days "Ku-waiting" to receive his visa, (I crack myself up!) Steven finally left for Saudi. A knock sounded on his room door, an unmarked, white envelope was handed over, and inside--a golden ticket! Okay, mabe it was a simple e-ticket itinerary, but I'm sure at that moment Steven felt just like Charlie Bucket. (Minus the cabbage soup and oddly invalid grandparents! Lol)

And so it was goodbye to the fantastic rooftop pool, expat-tailored breakfasts, and sweeping views of Kuwait's seaside promenade.

Steven boarded Saudi Airlines for the hour and change flight, landing in Riyadh. He'll stay for a couple of days, completing medical in-processing, (including providing the ever popular stool sample; every lab technician's favorite!) and hopefully be ready to head to Abha by the 24th or 25th.

So arrivederci Kuwait. It's nice to know that even when you're halfway across the world, there's still a Hard Rock Cafe serving overpriced burgers to the sweet sounds of classic Bon Jovi. Oh! I've got dibs on the Billy Joel booth! :)

Khamis Mushayt

So now ya'all know the why, next, the where.  Our ending destination and home for the next however long is Khamis Mushayt. The largest city in the Asir Province, it has an estimated population of close to 600,000 people.  (Yes Wikipedia, once again I defer to your knowledge and acknowledge you as the supreme expert!)

The Asir region is set on a high plateau and contains the highest mountains, the Asir Mountains.  Because of its elevation, it gets 10-20 inches of rainfall a year and has two distinctly rainy seasons, averaging March and August. Temperatures can reach into the 90's, with evening and overnight temps that can get into the 50's and 60's.  This region often sees periods of heavy fog as well. Because of its drastically cooler weather and areas of lush vegetation, Asir has become a popular vacation destination with Saudis from hotter areas. Asir National Park is the first national park in Saudi.
For more, see: http://www.splendidarabia.com/location/asir/asir_national_park/

And that's about it. No, really. It is amazing the almost complete lack of information that's available about our new home. Hours spent scouring the Internet yields very little, or the same tired info copied time and again from one website to the next. So now I do my part and pass that info to you, keeping the chain of vague and incomplete info going. What I do know: The capital city of the Asir province is Abha, home to an international airport (with 1 hr flights to the seaside and more liberal city of Jeddah and 2 1/2 hr flights to Dubai) only a 30 minutes drive from Khamis. More importantly, that city has a Toys R Us and, wait for it...a STARBUCKS, that blessed Java-haven for the caffeine differently-abled. The day I found that out, I closed my eyes, sent a silent prayer up towards the heavens, thanking Him for His infinite mercy, and smiled to myself. What more does one need? So it'll be a long round-trip drive. I'll be in the backseat, drinking a tall, half-shot vanilla mocha while my driver navigates the chaotic streets. Don't judge:)

How It All Began...

My husband Steven performs work that is subject to year-to-year funding. We had received notice that the upcoming fiscal year's budget just wasn't going to support another year contract. So, after almost three lucrative years, our luck had finally run out.

Steven, (being the good provider that he is) immediately put out feelers, determined there would be NO lapses in income, and within a few days had received interest in his résumé from a recruitment company specializing in Saudi contracts. We'd heard that jobs in the Middle East potentially paid well, but beyond that we really had no idea what to expect. As anyone associated with me knows, a lack of knowledge on my part pushes me to do intensive research-until I feel satisfied that I've at least got a good overview on the topic! After about four straight days of research, I presented my findings to Steven, and told him, "Let's do it!"

It really was the right time. Our son has a few years before he's school age, Steven's job was ending anyway, and I was growing increasingly burnt out and exhausted in my job. After almost nine years in a job that continually increased its demands on you with less and less resources available, I knew the time had come for me to call it quits--if only to retain my sanity! Working a compressed schedule (four 10 hr days a week) severely limited the time I was getting to spend with my son. He was literally changing before my eyes, growing up, and I was on the sidelines, less of a participant, more of an observer. I remember the turning point, the exact day when my attitude towards my job shifted, when I knew it was no longer acceptable to spend so much time away from my son.  My mother-in-law had picked my son up from preschool and was dropping him off at our house. Quite casually she mentioned that maybe I'd let our son stay the night at her house on the weekend. I felt tense, cornered. I tried explaining why the idea was so upsetting and ended up bursting into tears. Even I was surprised by them. I had had no idea I was close to tears, and it was only in trying to articulate how I was feeling that it actually came together in a cohesive thought for me: during a typical weekday, I was seeing my son for less than three hours a day. My workday started at 6:30am, long before he needed to be up and not wanting to disturb him, I'd leave for work before he awoke.  I wouldn't see him usually until 5:30-6:00 pm, and he was in bed by 8:30/8:45.  Those precious three hours had to include cooking and eating time, cleaning, bath time, prepping for the next day, etc. In other words, of that three hours, maybe only an hour and a half was dedicated time spent with him...an hour and a half! In a 24 hr period!!  I felt sick to my stomach. I was failing. The truth is, I believe you can be a good mother AND a good career woman AND a good wife.  But there is NO amount of argument that can convince me you can be a GREAT mother, career woman AND wife at the same time. Great by its very nature requires a lot of time and attention, and something, somewhere has to be sacrificed to be great in another area. In spite of my epiphany, I wasn't in a position to immediately change my circumstances. After all, our lifestyle required us to be a two-income family. But the seed was planted, I wanted a change.

And that my friends, is how I was so ready to support Steven in this new adventure.  I would be able to quit my job, join Steven in Saudi, and, wait for it, actually raise my son?! Incredible right?
So fast forward...the recruiters wanted him over there to begin processing as soon as possible. Ramadan was just starting and the earlier he travelled, the better and easier the process. First stop, Kuwait City where he surrendered his passport to a stranger so they could begin processing his visa.  Being in Kuwait without a passport in his possession has made him incredibly leery about wandering about the city, but he has gotten up the courage (and the energy in spite of a horrific case of jet lag) to go across the street from his hotel to the mall.  He was given a litany of rules from the front desk, to include no eating or drinking in public (due to Ramadan) until after the evening prayer, to include no gum chewing!
So he flew out Sunday the 14th of July, and hopes to be done with Kuwait by the end of the week. If not, he's not in too much of a hurry; they met him at the airport with a private car, put him up in a boutique hotel, gave him an envelope of pocket money and have in general treated him like a king. Meanwhile, I'm hauling my tired ass around between work, my untidy house, Walmart and my son's preschool, in a Starbucks-induced haze of fake energy! But enough complaining! :)
So, this blog will chronicle his journey (as interpreted by me), our journey to hopefully reunite with him and move to Saudi Arabia, and everything in between. And if it all goes to hell, ( which I'm praying it doesn't) then I'll share the gory details of that too.
Either way, thanks for sharing our journey. If you're friends or family, we love you, thanks for your support. And if you're a stranger who stumbled across my musings, welcome. At the very least I promise it should be an interesting read:)